How to Keep Your Cool: An Ancient Guide to Anger Management by Seneca
I used to lose my cool. Not anymore. Stoicism, the philosophy of life that maximizes positive emotions by reducing negative emotions, taught me to control my anger.
The Stoic philosophy has changed over time but its main principle remains the same: to provide people a framework for living well by reminding people of what is truly important in life. Stoics acknowledge that people don’t have control over all of what happens in life. Therefore, worrying about things outside of their control is irrational to a person who wants to attain tranquillity.
“The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own…”
Epictetus
I came to Seneca after reading Marcus Aurelius meditations. Seneca had a tumultuous life, but Stoicism remained a constant in his life, even during the most turbulent periods.
This book is part of Princeton’s “Ancient Wisdom for Modern Readers” series. In this series, the texts and ideas of classical philosophers are presented in a very accessible way and are arranged to address a single issue, in this case, anger.
In Seneca’s eyes, anger is the most “intense, destructive, and irresistible of the passions. It’s like jumping off a cliff: once rage is allowed to get control, there’s no hope of stopping the descent. Our spiritual health demands that we let go of anger, or else it will never let go of us.”
Seneca discusses how we may avoid falling into an angry state, then how we may free ourselves from it, and lastly how we may restrain and calm angry persons and lead them back to mental health.
“Delay is the greatest remedy for anger. Ask of your anger, at the outset, not to grand forgiveness but to exercise judgment.”
Seneca
He urges his readers to give up the self-importance that leads them to feel wrong by others and suggests practicing a “pact of mutual leniency.” A good look at ourselves will make us more temperate if we ask ourselves: “Haven't we ourselves also done something like that? Haven’t we gone astray in the same way? Does condemning these things really benefit us?”
A quick and interesting read. Better and much more helpful than most self-help books about anger management.