The Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay
Better late than never, they say. The Bad Feminism has been on the shelf with the unread books for a few years. I am not sure why I hadn’t read it all this time; it seems there was always another book that I had to read first. Finally, an evening, a few days ago, I decided that it was time for it to move to a more permanent and appropriate home, the Feminism Shelf.
So, I read it. Roxane Gay has a brilliant mind. She writes beautifully, with stunning insight and emotional honesty. She writes about tough subjects with bravery and humour. She has passionate opinions about feminism, and she acknowledges that she couldn’t possibly live up to the demands for perfection of the feminist movement.
It made me think. I have been a feminist all my life. I have become a feminist because I didn’t want men to treat me like shit. I have passionate and strong opinions about things. I want men to respect my opinions and when I open my mouth to speak, I want them to actually listen to what I have to say. I want women to have reproductive freedom and access to health care they need. And, after all these years, I am still waiting to receive the same pay as men for the same work.
Like Roxane Gay, I cannot describe any right or wrong ways to be a feminist. As most humans, I am a mess and full of contradictions. I hate the pink colour, I don’t like the pop culture, fashion to me is my jeans and a t-shirt. I don’t care what the others think of me, and I love Star Wars. I have made mistakes, I have taken risks, I have been brilliant, and I have been silly. I learned how to cook in my forties and I still don’t drive.
I am less angry now than I used to be, but I still get angry when women disavow feminism. I don’t know what kind of feminist I am, but honestly, I don’t really care. I am a feminist, simply as that. I am not looking for perfection. The perfect feminist is a mythical creature. As most things in this world, feminism is complex and flawed. In many cases, it starts as a personal issue but in order to succeed and evolve requires collective action.