We lived out our conflicts rather than our fantasies.
Reading: The Odd Woman And The City by Vivian Gornick
New York City in The Odd Woman And The City, is not just a setting- it’s a force that shapes those who move through it alone.
Vivian Gornick walks the streets of New York City, collecting fleeting encounters, misunderstandings, eavesdroppings, and brief moments of unexpected intimacy. Her observations are sharp and unsentimental, but also deeply intimate and never cruel.
This is not just a book about New York—it’s a book about friendship, particularly Gornick’s long-walking companionship with Leonard, a sharp-tongued, melancholic and fiercely opinionated gay man who mirrors Gornick's own experiences and helps her make sense of the world around her.
Their weekly conversations, filled with literary gossip, political sparring, and existential musings brim with intelligence, wit and the easy brutality of long familiarity. Their dialogues are as revelatory as love itself. “Friendships,” she observes, “are just like marriages—they bring out in you all that is neurotic, all that is strong.” In an era that venerates romance above all else, Gornick offers a poignant counterpoint: that deep, enduring friendships can be just as vital, just as transformative.
This was my first encounter with Gornick’s work, but it will not be my last. My intention is to read as much as possible of her work soon. I like her direct and free of sentimentality prose, the sophistication in her writing and the dry humour that breaks her melancholy but never undermines it. Reading the book is like walking with a friend in a city, sharing stories about the strangeness of social life, and the weird loneliness of contemporary existence – an isolation that, for all its anguish, we strangely hesitate to give it up.
There’s a line in the book that lingers: “We lived out our conflicts rather than our fantasies.” It’s a striking observation of modern life -where, instead of realising their dreams and aspirations, people are caught up in the ongoing challenges and disputes of their daily lives.
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